Condoms To Coffins

From First Cry to Final Goodbye... We’ve Got You Covered

Welcome to Condoms to Coffins, the internet’s most delightfully inappropriate destination for every stage of your ridiculous life.
Whether you’re entering the world or exiting it and laughing all the way through we’ve got the gifts, gear, and gallows humor to match.

Custom Tumbler

Personalized 20 oz tumbler to keep drinks hot or cold on the go.

Elegant Flutes

Personalized champagne flutes perfect for toasts and celebrations.

Firehouse Mug

Custom white mug for fans and first responders.

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Gold Flutes

Elegant champagne glasses with a stylish gold rim for special occasions.

From Cradle to Coffin

The Reason We Exist?
To
Laugh at All of It

From baby showers to bridezilla meltdowns, bachelor parties to over-the-hill birthdays, and retirements to final send-offs — we celebrate every milestone with a wink, a roast, and a T-shirt you probably shouldn’t wear to Grandma’s house.

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Humor for Every Stage

Shop the Laughs

Baby Gear

Because those tiny dictators already run the show, so why not dress them accordingly?

Baby Gear

They drool, scream, and demand snacks. At least their outfit can be funny.
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Over-the-Hill

Celebrate getting older (or at least pretending you’re fine with it) with gifts that roast aging just enough.

Over-the-Hill

Aging gracefully is overrated celebrate with a little sarcasm and a lot of inappropriate gifts.
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Bridal & Bachelor

From sweet and silly to “what even is happening?”—perfect for any pre-wedding chaos.

Bridal & Bachelor

Because nothing says “forever” like matching hangovers and regretfully funny T-shirts.
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Retirement Gifts

For when someone clocks out of the daily grind—a coffee mug with an expiration date says it best.

Retirement Gifts

No more Mondays, no more memos just funny gifts to mark their permanent out-of-office status.
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Final Farewell

One last laugh before the lights go out send them off with humor they’ll never forget (or won’t be around to).

Final Farewell

Gag gifts that make the last send-off a little less sad and a lot more hilarious.
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T-Shirts & Hats

Bold, funny, and probably going to make someone do a double-take (or roll their eyes).

T-Shirts & Hats

Say what everyone’s thinking—loudly, sarcastically, and right across your chest or forehead.
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Laugh Mail

Get fresh sarcasm, weird gift ideas, and mildly questionable humor straight to your inbox.

Artists and Animators

Fun and Fear this Night!

Firehouse Mug

Custom white mug for fans and first responders.

Elegant Flutes

Personalized champagne flutes perfect for toasts and celebrations.

Gold Flutes

Elegant champagne glasses with a stylish gold rim for special occasions.

Custom Tumbler

Personalized 20 oz tumbler to keep drinks hot or cold on the go.

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